When I started this blog, I made a promise to myself that I would be honest. Honest about my emotions, honest about my feelings. And as much as I don’t want to, I am going to keep that promise.
I am just going to say it, today is a crap day. I am just sad. Sad that we haven’t been able to get pregnant. Sad that there is nothing I can do to make myself feel better. And when I feel sad, I feel guilty. Guilty that there are people who have it so much worse than me. Guilty that I am not content in all of the amazing things that we have. And then feeling guilty makes me mad. It’s a vicious cycle.
I work with a girl who is pregnant. Today she finds out what she is having. I am very happy for her, and I know she is so excited. My office wants to throw her a gender reveal party today, and I don’t know if I can go. What if I start crying in the middle of it? What if I can’t smile? What kind of person would I look like if I were to make a scene in the middle of her party.
Like I said, just a crap day. It’s funny how your mood and emotions can do a complete 180 within one day.
So today I pray for peace, pray for joy, and pray for strength! My mom sent me a text this morning telling me I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength. Always a good reminder 🙂 Everyone have a great Wednesday!!
“Don’t grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your Strength”