I have been listening to some podcasts lately, and this week I came across Lena Dunham’s podcast series “Women of the Hour”, specifically her episode title Body.
She interviewed different women discussing specific things about them that they may find troubling, things that they like about themselves, things that they have lived with their entire lives. She would wrap up each discussion by asking them a question, “Are you your…?” whatever it may be. “Are you your disability?” “Are you your hair?”
That got me thinking. What defines me?
Are you your infertility?
I would like to think not. I am a wife. A daughter. A sister. A friend. A child of God. A hard worker. A good nap taker. An excellent bottle of wine picker.
My biggest fear is that people only think of me as what I am lacking.
We were having a birthday gathering at work this morning, and I got so frustrated about something, that seems a little silly now, but it really got me thinking. We were all sitting around and two ladies were talking (mostly complaining) about their kids. Obviously this is not a bad thing, but I feel that whatever we are talking about the conversation goes directly back to their children. What they did to get in trouble, how busy they are, how tired they are making them. I came to the realization that I don’t truly know these women, that their entire lives seem to revolve around their kids.
Are you your children?
Not that there is anything wrong with that, but I hope to not one day be wrapped up in something so much that I lose everything about who I am. I hope that I will be able to hold an adult conversation that doesn’t revolve around school districts, and meet the parent nights and what is the appropriate age to buy my child an IPAD.
*side note. I don’t even own an IPAD. 3 year olds have IPADS these days….
This question is something that we can ask of anyone, really.
Are you your job?
Are you your illness?
Are you your money?
The good news that I keep telling myself everyday is that my identity doesn’t have to fit into one box, one category, one definition. No we haven’t been able to have a baby, but I am NOT my infertility. Yes I do like what I do for a living but I am NOT just my job. I do have a pup that I love but I am NOT just a dog mom. (JK on that last one…kind of.)
So here’s to defining out lives however we want, in as many different ways as we want, at any time that we want!