Hello my people. Long time no see.
All of a sudden I looked up and October is almost over. This life is just going by in a blink.
And at the same time, I am in the exact same place I was 4 years ago. 4 years ago when we made the decision that we wanted to grow our family. 4 years ago when I was in the same job, same office. 4 years ago I thought life would follow the picture perfect plan I had mapped out in my head.
Funny to look back at that girl and feel a bit envious. So much hope in that little 29-year-old heart. Knowing it may take some time, but not too long. Everyone else she knew had no problem, why would she. After a year, she never thought she could make it another. All of the baby announcements and shower invitations would surely do her in. But she made it. Then came year two and three. Everyone having their second babies. Us traveling and trying to enjoy every second of each other, because SURELY we were due our miracle soon. Right??
Year 4. I’m still here. I don’t cry EVERY time someone asks me about it. I don’t get upset at EVERY announcement or shower.
But I don’t think I can make it another year. And yet, I’ve said that before and here I stand. Thinking back on all we have done. On all we have been a part of. On my growth in faith and trust. God has carried me. Held me. Gave me the best support system. We can do this.