Be Still…

If my life had its own theme, I believe it would be “be still”. Honestly, that would probably be the title of my life as well. Nothing has ever come quickly for me. Relationships, jobs, financial stability, marriage, baby.

I have had a blessed life. All of the waiting I have had to do has led me to some really incredible things.

With that said, I don’t like waiting. It’s not fun to be still.

I started this blog as an outlet to share our infertility struggles, and it has been amazing for me. I get to share all of our hard times, and hurts and also other parts of our life that are good! I haven’t touched on the infertility section of my heart in quite some time, so I feel like I owe it to this space to revisit that.

A year ago this month was the last time we stepped foot in our fertility doctors office. My blood test that showed that our IUI did not work was the last appointment that I had. We have been seeking answers, direction, anything at all to point us to where we are to go next in our journey.

Anyone want to take a guess as to what that answer has been.

Be Still.

I do not know why this isn’t happening. I do not know the reasons that everyone is getting pregnant around me, a few of them with the second while I am still trying for my first. I may never understand the reasons. And I have to be ok with that.

But when God tells you to be still, you do it. He has given me more peace in the past few months than I ever thought possible. We are enjoying life. Staying active. Staying positive.

That doesn’t mean I don’t have hard times. I get sad, frustrated, mad. I still want to be a mom, and I don’t think that will go away. But the peace and calmness that God has placed in that void gets me through every one of those emotions. It’s the peace that passes all understanding. And in that alone, I have hope.

“BE STILL and know that I am God.” Psalm 46:10

“Now then, STAND STILL and see this great thing the Lord is about to do before your eyes.”
1 Samuel 12:16

“BE STILL before the Lord and wait patiently for him” Psalm 37:7

“And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:7

xoxo
HP

Workout Wednesday

Well guys, I’ve hit a snag in my new routine. I blame vacation. I blame the 3 migraines I had last week. I blame summertime and the fact that I would rather sit on a patio with a drink. I blame being tired from work.

Honestly, I should just blame being lazy. I was doing SO GOOD! Hitting my 3 workouts a week goal, and even getting one or two more in.

But then life got in the way.

I’ve got to find that motivation that I had before we left for vacation. I’ve accomplished one workout this week, and will really try to make it a point to get two more in. Two more tiny workouts to get back to my goal. While we are talking about goals, yours truly has really decided to be on the see food diet. You know, you see it you eat it. All that has done is made my stomach feel yucky and fill my head full of regret. (except for the Taco Villa bean burritos I ate, there is never any regret there).

So, that is my workout update this week. I’m ready to feel good again. I’m ready to feel rested again.

SOMEBODY HELP ME!!!

Well guys, I hope you had a great hump day! Only two more days left this week! We can do this!!!

xoxo
HP

Summer Vacation

Wow guys. I have been gone a long time. For the first time in 4 years we took an entire week off of work. We left on July 1 for the lake and did not get back in town until the 10th. It was AMAZING. I sure did pay for it though the week after I got back. Work was insane! Totally worth it!

Anywho, we went to my parents lake house for the entire time. The first part of the week my family was there for the 4th. We got to play, and sleep, and eat, and drink lots of beer, and shoot fireworks. They left on Monday and we spent the rest of the week in complete relaxation mode. We slept, a lot. Got a ton of sun. Ate some great food on the lake, and just really tried to disconnect.

It was just what the doctor ordered. Here are some pics from our week.

I feel like I am finally caught up!! Trying to get back into my routine, work and working out! It’s really nice to get away, but it’s also nice to get back to normal!

I hope you guys have a great day!!

xoxo
HP

 

Workout Wednesday

Well guys, I am on week four of my new fitness life, and I am pleased to announce that it’s going really well!! My goal was to make it to the gym, or do some kind of work out 3 times per week. I figured that if I didn’t try to over commit myself, I would be more likely to stick to it. And guess what, IT WORKED. The first two weeks I hit my goal, and last week I actually made it one extra time.

I am feeling great, and starting to see the slightest bit of difference in my body. Others may not be able to see any difference, but I know it’s there. It makes me want to keep going!

Let me tell you this though, I am really freaking sore. I am doing a lot of weight training, so I’m pretty much sore all over. My husband and I did a core routine on Saturday that I am still feeling 4 days later. I was really, really out of shape. I tried to do burpees on Monday, and literally could only do 3 of them. Baby steps, I’ll get there.

I know I have a ways to go, and I am taking it one day at a time. This is going to sound so strange, and super foreign coming out of my mouth, but I am actually enjoying going to the gym. I found a lot of work out programs online that have helped me know what I am doing at the gym. I follow a few girls on instagram that post workout ideas everyday that are helpful!

So, that’s just a little workout update for today. I am really hoping to stay with it. We are going on a vacation for 10 days at the beginning of July, and I have already found some great at home workouts to keep me going even while we are out of town.

The next step, getting this diet of mine under control. I just really love to eat bad things guys.

Wish me luck!!!

xoxo
HP

We Love, Love

Hello, all!!! It’s Monday again. The weekends seem to fly by right before my very eyes. We had quite the eventful one. We have two weddings this entire year, and they happened to fall on the same day. One started at 4 and the other at 7, so we decided to make it to both!!

I love, love. And I love weddings! CP and I met at a wedding, so they kind of have a special place in our hearts. Also, we kinda like getting dressed up and drinking wine and dancing, so they are perfect date nights for us as well!!

*my man is a hottie, btw!

This 31 one year old can’t bounce back like she used to, so I spent the majority of my Sunday napping. And eating. And napping. And eating again.

I hope that you guys have a great Monday, and a wonderful week!! We only have 2 weeks left until our little vacation, and I couldn’t be more ready. I am feeling the burnout BAD.

pray for me to not punch anyone in the face the next two weeks at work 🙂

Tootles!

XOXO
HP

 

Lake Life

WWWWHHHYYYYY can’t every weekend be a 3 day weekend? Even better….why can’t every week be a 4 day work week?

Sigh…grown up life is hard.

We spent our Memorial Day weekend celebrating with family at our lake house. I will never take for granted how blessed we are to have such an amazing place to retreat to! It’s about 3 and a half hours from where we live, which is the perfect distance for really feeling like we are getting away! We spent 3 days floating, wakeboarding, fishing and eating.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So this week I decided it’s time that I made a lifestyle change. I have to get this booty in shape. I spend way to much time in my swimsuit during the summer to not be spending some time at the gym. Plus, it just makes me feel better. So, I am committing to at least 3 workouts a week, and then more than that if we have some extra time!!

If anyone has some workout tips for a girl who is not entirely familiar with the weight room…I’m all ears!

Well, kids…I hope you have a great rest of the week!!

xoxo
HP

when your body says stop

Well, it happened. I’ve officially hit a wall. That invisible wall that pops up when I have pushed myself too far.

I am not sure if I have mentioned this before, but I have chronic fatigue syndrome. I know guys, it sounds fake. But let me assure you, it’s not. I was diagnosed at a young age with Epstein Barr. In other words..I have chronic mono. It comes and goes, usually worsened by stress. And guys, it’s NO BUENO right now.

I have zero energy. My short term memory is gone. I have enough mental capacity to get the minimum at work done…and even that is not going so well. I have lost complete conversations I have had with family members. I have made my husband think he’s lost his mind because I can’t remember simple things he has told me.

We love to travel, go to concerts, see new things, go out with our friends. But my body has said, STOP. REST. I need to get my body back to normal, and my brain back in working order!

So, this weekend is going to be just that. Quiet. Rest. Sleep. I can’t be more excited about that!

I hope you guys have a great weekend!!

xoxo
HP

 

 

You Matter

Honesty time, I had a bit of a meltdown this weekend. Which shouldn’t surprise anyone with it being Mother’s Day and all, but I thought I had this whole infertility thing under control.

Sometimes I feel like because I am not a mother, I’m not enough. Like I can’t understand something because I don’t have children. Like I am on the outside of some super secret club that I don’t have a key to get in to.

I don’t have the right to be tired. “You think your tired? Just wait until you have kids.” I don’t have the authority to help with marriages. “How can you help my marriage if you don’t know what it’s like to have KIDS in a marriage?”

I also have insane feelings of not being good enough at being infertile. Do I not want children bad enough to go through IVF. Is my desire not strong enough to be a momma if I don’t want to adopt?

As soon as these thoughts lies start swirling around, God sends his messengers to bring me out of my dark places. My sister-in-law sent me this:

Boom. Exactly what I needed.

Guys, life is unfair. It’s going to be tough. God does not do anything that doesn’t have a purpose. I don’t know why we can’t get pregnant. There are no answers on earth why. But He knows. I have to trust that with my whole being.

I have to look at all of my blessings. My husband. I wouldn’t trade all of the babies in the world for him. If our life is meant to be a life full of adventures together, just me and him, then OK. That’s what we will do. My family, the greatest support system, my shoulders to cry on. My friends.

This morning my mom sent me this verse.

He is the rock, his works are perfect, and all his ways are just. A faithful God who does no wrong, upright and just is He. Dueteronomy 32:4.

Amen.

You guys have an amazing week!!! Go do something that someone with babies can’t do!

xoxo
HP

road trips, tattoos, & flying planes

 

Ya’ll, someday I will be back on a regular basis, and I won’t have to apologize for being absent. I am not sure what the deal is. I love this space. I love writing. I love thinking that maybe my words are helping someone out.

I’ve just been…tired. I’ve been busy. I’ve been blah.

With that said, I will give you quick recap of what we’ve been up to!!

  1. took an AMAZING road trip to Fredericksburg. that place has my heart. Tons of wineries, brewries, german food, and patio sitting.

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2. Made a pit stop at Luckenbach and enjoyed some Lonestar beers and sunshine.
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3. got a little wild in Austin, ended up at a tattoo parlor. Wrote myself a little note, and had someone permanently apply it so my body. And I’m obsessed with it.

 

4. went on a work trip…got to fly an actual airplane. We all survived.

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5. trying to enjoy life

6. trying to get some rest

 

Well, I think that’s about it!! I for real miss you guys!!! I am in desperate need of some encouragement, so if you have some, please send my way!

I PROMISE I will be back soon!!

xoxo
HP

 

 

 

 

 

that one time i disappeared

 

Guys, what the heck have I been doing for a whole month. I knew it had been a while since I visited these parts, but I didn’t realize it had been an entire month. Whoops.

Well, I am back 🙂 Nothing to report…no reason what so ever why I have been gone. I guess just the general busyness of life. I keep thinking that some day things will slow down. I am coming to the conclusion that life will never ever slow down. Those people that say they are bored with their lives need to come chill with us for a minute. They will be trying to get back to their “boring” lives in no time!

But I wouldn’t change it for the world. We love to have things to do. We love road trips. We love being random and adventurous. God knew what he was doing when he brought someone to me that liked to go and do as much as me. (honestly he likes to go and do more than me…I do need naps every once in a while).

Anywho, since I’ve been completely MIA I will give a little racap of my past month.

I went home to my parents for Easter. On Saturday evening I took my nephew to a walk around the block wearing sandals. Around 9:00 pm, it started snowing. This is not an odd thing. If you have ever been in west Texas in the spring, you have seen sunshine, rain, hail, hurricane winds and snow all in one day, then be able to lay outside in your swimsuit the very next day. You would think since I was born and raised in these parts I would have been better prepared with my Easter attire. I was not…I borrowed a dress, and boots, and a winter coat from my mom. She busted out her fur. I am a bad blogger and did not get many pictures on my phone.

           Also, there is nothing cuter than my nephew, except my nephew in a bow tie.

 

So, I left snowmaggedon on Easter Sunday and traveled the one hour and 45 minutes south to where we live. It was 75 degrees and the sun was shining. So we went to the driving range. It’s a miracle I have not been sick yet.

 

                             Let’s see what else. Two of my favorite guys had a birthday.

 

 

CP and I bought ourselves new bedroom furniture, and we are like giddy little kids about it. You would think this is our first big purchase…we did buy a house last year. But this furniture makes us feel super grown up. I will try and remember to take some pics so you can see!

The best news of all, we get to go on a mini VACATION this week!! Get me down to wine country ASAP!! I will (try) to have a recap when we get back!!

xoxo
HP

 

 

 

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