Double the Fun

2018 has been a whirlwind of a year. We started out in January with our first IVF appointment. In February I had a procedure and ordered all of my medication. We started the meds in March, and had our fresh embryo transfer in April. Two weeks later we found out we were pregnant. 3 days after that we learned it was a chemical pregnancy.

After all of that we kind of disappeared. We did some traveling. Enjoyed the summer and tried to decide what our next move was. I had shared so much of our journey up to that point, I decided to take a step back.

In July, we decided to go ahead with a frozen transfer. Our transfer date was July 30. We had 6 embryos frozen, and we decided to transfer two of them. The 10 day wait after our transfer were tough ones. What if it didn’t work again? What if it does work and then we lose them?

And then it happened. We got our miracle. Our two precious babies are due Spring 2019. We are over the moon and truly can’t believe this is really happening!!

 

Ok, babies. Let’s do this!

xoxo,
HP

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Go Time

Well guys, IVF is here. The consultations have been had, the labs have been run, the insides have been checked, the meds have been ordered, and we start injections this  weekend.

Our first appointment was at the end of January. That’s the day we made the decision to go ahead with IVF. It’s a scary, intimidating thing to decide, and don’t let anyone tell you different. It’s not rainbows and butterflies, they are in the business to get you knocked up, and they don’t mess around. (hah)

Note: if you are not 100% ready for IVF, do not decide to go forward with it. It’s very stressful and very adult, all of the decisions you have to make and all of the things you have to talk about. If you are not both on board, I can only assume it would make it so much harder.

So, on the eve of getting this thing started, I’d just like to say how excited we are. I know my body is about to be put to the test, and we are about to do some things I never thought we would be able to do, I am just so excited to see what comes out of this!

Baby P, (or Babies P;)) you are already so loved. Now, grow strong, latch on and try not to cause us a lot of drama.

Let’s get going with these next 3 weeks. May I hold on to my sanity just a bit longer!

xoxo
HP

To my husband – you are a rock star. Thanks for going into battle with me. No way I could do this without you. (literally)

Plans

 

Hello my people. Long time no see.

All of a sudden I looked up and October is almost over. This life is just going by in a blink.

And at the same time, I am in the exact same place I was 4 years ago. 4 years ago when we made the decision that we wanted to grow our family. 4 years ago when I was in the same job, same office. 4 years ago I thought life would follow the picture perfect plan I had mapped out in my head.

Funny to look back at that girl and feel a bit envious. So much hope in that little 29-year-old heart. Knowing it may take some time, but not too long. Everyone else she knew had no problem, why would she. After a year, she never thought she could make it another. All of the baby announcements and shower invitations would surely do her in. But she made it. Then came year two and three. Everyone having their second babies. Us traveling and trying to enjoy every second of each other, because SURELY we were due our miracle soon. Right??

Year 4. I’m still here. I don’t cry EVERY time someone asks me about it. I don’t get upset at EVERY announcement or shower.

But I don’t think I can make it another year. And yet, I’ve said that before and here I stand. Thinking back on all we have done. On all we have been a part of. On my growth in faith and trust. God has carried me. Held me. Gave me the best support system. We can do this.

xoxo,

HP

Denver Weekend

Whew! Was that February that flew past us so quickly? What a fun whirlwind of a month! We decided in January that we were going to lay low, so when February rolled around it was time to get back out into the world!

We did a quick Dallas weekend to see some friends and have a fun cousin night on the town. We went to the lake for a little R&R. Then wrapped up the  month with an extended weekend in Denver for my brothers birthday.

I have been to Denver quite a few times, but we usually lay low or go up in the mountains to go skiing. This trip was a little different. We got a hotel downtown for a couple of nights and spent the weekend eating, visiting breweries and enjoying the city life. Denver is SO FUN, ya’ll.

We got there Thursday morning just in time for a HUGE snow storm to come through. Our winter here has been extremely mild so we were pretty excited to see some good snow! CPs dad lives just north of Denver, so we stayed there for a night. They just opened Breckenridge Brewery right next door, so we decided to check it out. Is there anything better than a good beer in the mountains? Seriously such a cool place. I can’t wait to check it out this summer when it’s warmer.

The next day we headed downtown to check in to the hotel and get ready to surprise my brother. He had no clue that we were coming! We  walked down the street to grab a table at a champagne bar called Corridor 44, they have the best happy hour specials. My bro and sis in law finally arrived, we yelled and screamed, he was shocked, and we could finally begin the party!! Shout out to my sister in law for such an awesome idea!!! The rest of the weekend was spent visiting breweries, bar hopping and eating great food! I definitely recommend Denver Biscuit Company for brunch and Denver Beer Co for some good beers.

 

Such a fun weekend with my all my favs!!

This past weekend we stayed at home. We worked so hard doing house work on Saturday, we decided to have a little fun on Sunday because the weather was so nice. We got some food to grill, invited some friends over, and played games outside all afternoon. A far cry from all of the snow the weekend before, but we enjoyed every second. BRING IT ON SPRING!!!

 

Everyone have a great week!! On the agenda for this weekend….LAKE TIME!

xoxo
HP

 

 

 

Left Out

Feeling left out is the worst. I think it starts out young. Being left out on the playground in elementary school, someone not including you in their group in middle school, not being invited to party in high school. Even as an adult I get hurt when someone leaves me out of their plans that I feel like I should be included on.

This whole infertility things brings about a whole new mess of feeling left out. I know that I am all in my head (and I’m really working on that) but when you are one of the only ones who hasn’t been invited join in on the baby parade, it starts to get really really lonely. I get it, you want to spend time with the people who are in the same life stages as you. But I have to tell you, I am starting to feel REALLY left out. I want to be able to have conversations with my friends about the stages that our kids are in, compare stories, be able to have something in common again.

I am so lucky that I have been able to meet people that are going through the same infertility struggles as me, but if I’m being honest I will be so glad to move on. I don’t want to be left out anymore. I want to be a little bit normal. I want to blend in with the crowd. I don’t want to have any more awkward conversations about not having children.

But until then, we just keep moving forward.

The Lord hears those who cry out, and he delivers them from all of their distress. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted, and he delivers those whose spirit has been crushed. Psalm 34:17-18

xoxo
HP

 

Farewell, 2016…

As I sit and reflect on the past year, I can’t help but feel grateful. We are so blessed to get to enjoy so many things. Travel, family, friends. Usually this time of year brings a yearning for more. More than what we did in the past year. More adventure. More travel. More love. More…something.

We aren’t sure what is in store for us in the next year, but I have a feeling it’s going to be amazing. With big, giant, stretched out, open arms we welcome 2017.

With that said, here is just a snippet of what we did last year.

We always start the year out with a fun, fancy pants event for CPs company

We spent an amazing weekend in the mountains skiing, and eating, and relaxing.

one of our many winter weekend getaways to our happy place

I went back to my hometown for Easter…2 hours away. There was a huge surprise blizzard that weekend. When we drove home it was gorgeous enough to get out to the driving range. Love my golf lovin hubs.

Easter lunch with my favorite little bunny.

We took a super duper fun Texas road trip to Fredericksburg/Austin. We drank our way through Texas wine country and fell in love with it. Below is our stop in Luckenbach.

drinking some German beers in Fredericksburg.

pit stop at some wineries

got a little wild in Austin….and got some tattos

spent an awesome dallas weekend with friends at the Dave Matthews concert.

made some amazing new friends…and celebrated them getting married.

took a 10 day vacation and soaked up every second of it

played quite a bit of golf…and improved (kind of)

enjoyed so much family time

turned 32….(yikes)

threw an awesome 30th birthday party for my main man

celebrated Oktoberfest in Fredericksburg! Prost!

Enjoyed lots (and lots) of Texas Tech football.

Took a holiday trip to sunny Florida. I can’t recommend Clearwater enough

Wrapped up the year enjoying the Christmas season with everyone I love.

 

If you made it to the end of this….way to go! I know it was a long one. Honestly I could have added so much more. I love having this little space as a personal journal. I place I can go back and remember all of the amazing things we’ve done, and how far we have come.

I hope that the new year brings so much more. I’m ready to step out of my comfort zone.

Bring. It. On. 2017.

I hope you all have an AMAZING new year.

xoxo
HP

 

 

The Most Wonderful Time

I LOVE CHRISTMASTIME. I LOVE CHRISTMAS TIME. I LOVE CHRISTMASTIME.

The lights. The glitter. The snowmen. The trees. The smells. The weather. I love everything about it. I tried not to rush through Thanksgiving this year. I tried to wait, but I didn’t. I was just too excited about it this year. I got my trees up, my mantle put together, all of my fun decorations put out! My shopping almost done! There is something about this time of year that brings me so much joy!

We had a great Thanksgiving full of food (LOTS OF FOOD), family and football. We are blessed to live close to both of our families so  we were able to spend quite a bit of time with both.

Also, our Red Raiders beat those Baylor Bears and put the cherry right on top!

With all of that said, this time of year brings out other emotions. We are coming to the end of another year. Another year older. Another year of dreams not coming to life. Another year of waiting. It’s bittersweet. I know that there are so many of you that feel the same way. Wanting to be so happy, so joyful. But there’s still a tiny space inside that is longing to be filled.

My prayer at the beginning of this season for all of us is Peace. True peace that comes from the one who promises us the desires of our hearts. True peace that passes all understanding and a hope that gets us through each day. There is no time to be sad during the holidays, we have Christmas movies to watch, people!!!

I hope everyone has a great week!!

xoxo
HP

And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:7

Take delight in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 34:4

 

 

Family is Best

Family is the best thing in the world. Can I get an amen!

This past weekend we had a family wedding. All of my cousins were in town, under the same roof for the first time in over a year. I don’t know how the rest of you do it, but this family knows how to party. We ate, we drank, we laughed, and we DANCED. We danced our little hearts out.

After the weekend was over, and the excitement died down, I realized that family is everything. We love each other, we support each other, and we know how to laugh together. Family is not always easy. Family can be annoying, disappointing, a little too much sometimes. But in the end, family will be the ones that are there. Every new person that we bring into the family just fits right in. My husband claims them as his own, for better and for worse 😉

So here’s to my family. You guys rock!!

 

 

 

 

 

These are my monkeys and this is my circus.

xoxo
HP

Be Still…

If my life had its own theme, I believe it would be “be still”. Honestly, that would probably be the title of my life as well. Nothing has ever come quickly for me. Relationships, jobs, financial stability, marriage, baby.

I have had a blessed life. All of the waiting I have had to do has led me to some really incredible things.

With that said, I don’t like waiting. It’s not fun to be still.

I started this blog as an outlet to share our infertility struggles, and it has been amazing for me. I get to share all of our hard times, and hurts and also other parts of our life that are good! I haven’t touched on the infertility section of my heart in quite some time, so I feel like I owe it to this space to revisit that.

A year ago this month was the last time we stepped foot in our fertility doctors office. My blood test that showed that our IUI did not work was the last appointment that I had. We have been seeking answers, direction, anything at all to point us to where we are to go next in our journey.

Anyone want to take a guess as to what that answer has been.

Be Still.

I do not know why this isn’t happening. I do not know the reasons that everyone is getting pregnant around me, a few of them with the second while I am still trying for my first. I may never understand the reasons. And I have to be ok with that.

But when God tells you to be still, you do it. He has given me more peace in the past few months than I ever thought possible. We are enjoying life. Staying active. Staying positive.

That doesn’t mean I don’t have hard times. I get sad, frustrated, mad. I still want to be a mom, and I don’t think that will go away. But the peace and calmness that God has placed in that void gets me through every one of those emotions. It’s the peace that passes all understanding. And in that alone, I have hope.

“BE STILL and know that I am God.” Psalm 46:10

“Now then, STAND STILL and see this great thing the Lord is about to do before your eyes.”
1 Samuel 12:16

“BE STILL before the Lord and wait patiently for him” Psalm 37:7

“And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:7

xoxo
HP

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