If my life had its own theme, I believe it would be “be still”. Honestly, that would probably be the title of my life as well. Nothing has ever come quickly for me. Relationships, jobs, financial stability, marriage, baby.
I have had a blessed life. All of the waiting I have had to do has led me to some really incredible things.
With that said, I don’t like waiting. It’s not fun to be still.
I started this blog as an outlet to share our infertility struggles, and it has been amazing for me. I get to share all of our hard times, and hurts and also other parts of our life that are good! I haven’t touched on the infertility section of my heart in quite some time, so I feel like I owe it to this space to revisit that.
A year ago this month was the last time we stepped foot in our fertility doctors office. My blood test that showed that our IUI did not work was the last appointment that I had. We have been seeking answers, direction, anything at all to point us to where we are to go next in our journey.
Anyone want to take a guess as to what that answer has been.
I do not know why this isn’t happening. I do not know the reasons that everyone is getting pregnant around me, a few of them with the second while I am still trying for my first. I may never understand the reasons. And I have to be ok with that.
But when God tells you to be still, you do it. He has given me more peace in the past few months than I ever thought possible. We are enjoying life. Staying active. Staying positive.
That doesn’t mean I don’t have hard times. I get sad, frustrated, mad. I still want to be a mom, and I don’t think that will go away. But the peace and calmness that God has placed in that void gets me through every one of those emotions. It’s the peace that passes all understanding. And in that alone, I have hope.
“BE STILL and know that I am God.” Psalm 46:10
“Now then, STAND STILL and see this great thing the Lord is about to do before your eyes.”
1 Samuel 12:16
“BE STILL before the Lord and wait patiently for him” Psalm 37:7
“And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:7