Double the Fun

2018 has been a whirlwind of a year. We started out in January with our first IVF appointment. In February I had a procedure and ordered all of my medication. We started the meds in March, and had our fresh embryo transfer in April. Two weeks later we found out we were pregnant. 3 days after that we learned it was a chemical pregnancy.

After all of that we kind of disappeared. We did some traveling. Enjoyed the summer and tried to decide what our next move was. I had shared so much of our journey up to that point, I decided to take a step back.

In July, we decided to go ahead with a frozen transfer. Our transfer date was July 30. We had 6 embryos frozen, and we decided to transfer two of them. The 10 day wait after our transfer were tough ones. What if it didn’t work again? What if it does work and then we lose them?

And then it happened. We got our miracle. Our two precious babies are due Spring 2019. We are over the moon and truly can’t believe this is really happening!!


Ok, babies. Let’s do this!


IVF fails…

The last time I was around these parts we were embarking on an exciting journey; we were about to start the meds that were going to help me grow as many little eggies as possible.

The injections weren’t as bad as I was expecting…although there were A LOT of them. The doc seemed to keep adding more and more. I had some bad migraines, bruising,  and a few days that I just didn’t feel well, but all in all it wasn’t so bad.


Everything went so smoothly. I made it through the retrieval, and turns out they were able to get 14 eggs. We received a call the next morning and found out that we had 13 embryos on day one. What a blessing!!!

The five days after that we kept getting good news. On day 3, all 13 embryos were still growing like champs. I was on cloud nine. We did a day 5 transfer, and when we showed up to the hospital, we found out that 8 embryos were still looking great. They picked the strongest 2 and transferred them right in. We loved those little embabies so much. We were ready for them to snuggle right in for the next 9 months.

*side note. They put me on this little pill to help combat hyper-stimulation. Let me just say, that tiny pill sent straight from the depths of hell made me feel worse than any other thing I had to take. woof.

The 10 days of waiting that followed the transfer were the worst. I had a work trip scheduled and tried to stay as busy as possible, but it was freaking tough.

On day 10 I went in for blood work a nervous wreck. The whole day I was waiting for bad news. Then we got the call. I will never ever forget the words my nurse said. “Halie, congratulations. You are pregnant!”

All I could do was laugh. Laugh at the past 4 and a half years that I had been dreaming of this moment. Laugh at all we had gone through to get here. Laugh because I just really couldn’t believe it.

I raced to Target, got the cutest stuffed elephant and a book for my husband, and shared the news with him. I will never ever forget the look on his face and how excited he was. It was truly one of my most favorite memories of my life.

We got to bask in the excitement for 3 days.

I knew something was off that morning of my second round of blood work. I was spotting and I just didn’t feel pregnant. A few hours after the blood was taken I got a call from my doctors cell phone. I knew that wasn’t a good sign. I had what they call a chemical pregnancy. The babies never settled in long enough to have a heartbeat.

So that’s where we are now. Heartbroken, trying to pick up the pieces. Trying to figure out what to do next. Too sad to think about doing another transfer. Too tired to muster up the energy to go again.

but the battle continues…



Go Time

Well guys, IVF is here. The consultations have been had, the labs have been run, the insides have been checked, the meds have been ordered, and we start injections this  weekend.

Our first appointment was at the end of January. That’s the day we made the decision to go ahead with IVF. It’s a scary, intimidating thing to decide, and don’t let anyone tell you different. It’s not rainbows and butterflies, they are in the business to get you knocked up, and they don’t mess around. (hah)

Note: if you are not 100% ready for IVF, do not decide to go forward with it. It’s very stressful and very adult, all of the decisions you have to make and all of the things you have to talk about. If you are not both on board, I can only assume it would make it so much harder.

So, on the eve of getting this thing started, I’d just like to say how excited we are. I know my body is about to be put to the test, and we are about to do some things I never thought we would be able to do, I am just so excited to see what comes out of this!

Baby P, (or Babies P;)) you are already so loved. Now, grow strong, latch on and try not to cause us a lot of drama.

Let’s get going with these next 3 weeks. May I hold on to my sanity just a bit longer!


To my husband – you are a rock star. Thanks for going into battle with me. No way I could do this without you. (literally)

2018…let’s do this

I have been sitting here for a few minutes reflecting on the past year. What a year it was. We had some high highs and some low lows. We traveled, a lot. This summer was our #summeroffun. And man did we indulge. We also endured a tough loss over the holiday season. Plans were made. Plans were changed. And as usual, life forges on.

I love the new year. It’s clean. It’s fresh. There is something peaceful about knowing you can hit reset. It’s easier in the new year to start something new. Change things you want to change. Clean up. Clear out. Shape up. There are 365 days of possibilities ahead of you and it’s exciting.

So, 2018. Here we are 5 years into our marriage. The thing I treasure most. We work hard at it. We love big. We laugh and cry and talk and try and go on as many adventures as possible, and man have there been a lot of adventures.

But it’s time for another kind of adventure. The big one that has scared me to my core for the past few years. It’s funny how something I want more than anything is also the same thing that terrifies me.

We have been doing the same thing for 4 years with the same outcome. That’s the definition of insanity right? Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results?

So this year. This month we embark on something I have been against since day one. The thing I have been running from all along; we are going to try IVF. There I said it. It’s out there and I can’t take it back. God has led us to this decision and I have to put all of my trust that HE will be there, before us and with us and after us. He is already there. And in that truth, I can rest.

So, cheers to 2018. May it be our greatest adventure yet.


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